Recommendations
Most universities require 3 recommendations, and prefer them to come from faculty members who know you to some extent. Some mention that they'd accept recommendations from people who worked with you for a long enough while. They prefer not to hear from family members - which is a shame, since I bet my mom would've written me a knockout recommendation ;-)
One professor who was kind enough to explain the entire application process to me (over the phone) told me that recommendations are important, but that I really just needed one very enthusiastic/impressive recommendation, and two others that basically wouldn't object to my joining a PhD program :-) This was, probably, a slight exaggeration, but made me much calmer: I had only one contact in the academic world - the professor at whose lab I was volunteering.
It wasn't easy to get a recommendation out of him. I just didn't realize that at the same time, he was besieged by about a zillion other applicants who were hoping for his recommendation as well. I had to badger him a little - sometimes through the post-doc I was working with in reality, who was extremely helpful and kind.
I decided to also ask for a recommendation letter from a senior officer who worked with me for a few years in the Israeli army. The next letter I got was from a co-worker (clinical supervisor) with whom I've worked for about 6 months - he had a MA in psychology, so I was hoping his recommendation would help.
The universities allow you to either waive your right to see the recommendation, or not. Obviously, waiving it means you trust the recommendation writer to write something nice. This means that the recommendations need to be either sent to the universities by the writer, or be given to you in a sealed & signed envelope, which you will send in with your application. I chose to do it the second way, just to avoid having to worry about whether or not they sent out the letters.
I printed out the recommendation forms that the universities provided and filled out all the parts that I could, and then printed envelopes for the recommendation writers. I put little post-it notes on the forms and on the envelopes, so they would know where to put each letter, and I would know where to send the envelopes :-)
Generally, each writer printed out a separate recommendation letter (identical for each university) that was attached to the university form, which was also filled out. Both of those sheets were returned to me in a sealed envelope, signed across the seal. Having the printed details of the writer and myself on the envelope just made everything look nice and official.
I estimated it would take me about one week to get the envelopes back. I was right, which was a good thing - it was getting really close to the deadline date. If possible, I would suggest doing it a little bit in advance, but not too far in advance.
The most important thing is not to be embarrassed when asking for a recommendation. Just ask if they'd be willing to write you a recommendation - and try to ask this of people who you know appreciate you and can write good things about you. It doesn't hurt if you can attach some sort of title after their name ("PhD", "Lieutenant-General" and "MA" seems to have worked for me).
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